relentless rantings require resonance

A lot of whining and complaining. Some very interesting points. Ridiculous amounts of gushing about my son. Yup, that about sums it up.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Because school doesn't cause me enough...

I know that buying a house is supposed to be a great thing. I also know that it is supposed to cause a lot of "house buying stress." I guess the question is whether or not I can handle it. I already have a ton of stress coming at me from school. One need only scroll down 4 posts and it will become blatantly obvious just how much school affects my stress level.

I also have a lot of stress coming from my wedding plans. Granted I am trying to keep everything as simple as possible; however, there are things/people that are making it hard. The way that I want my wedding (including the 4 separate receptions that I've decided on) is very simple with as little pressure on me as possible. In fact, all my fiance and I really have to plan is the ceremony & our "friends" reception. The other three are going to be planned by our parents (not like that's exactly a grief free venture). There is still stress there.

There is also stress from my determination to lose weight. Now that sort of stems from the wedding plans also, because I don't think I'd be nearly as persistent and hard core about it if I didn't have the wedding deadline looming over my head.

I've always had financial stress because I am just not good at handling money. I am great at monitoring it, just not so great at the not spending it. That is where my biggest concern about buying the house comes into play.

So, should I take the plunge or shouldn't I. I've already broken my fiance's heart by telling him that I didn't feel it was the right time. I actually feel like I have smashed his hopes and dreams by expressing misgivings about this one thing (and this one thing is a $170,000 mortgage). It's hard to know what to do. It is damn scary too.

I guess I'll figure everything out (well everything associated with this particular house) in a day or too. I have no choice, I have to.